Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Looking at the Party

Looking at the Party

Freelance views on Canada’s Federal Candidates


The time is approaching yet again, Canadian Federal Election.  That’s right; the 42nd Canadian general election to elect members of Parliament will soon be here.  Get the torches ready, assemble a posse, and paint your signs.  The PS Buzz wants to see a full turn out (or at least more than 75% of the voting population.)  Let us remind you that the 2008 federal election saw a record low of 58% voter turnout, 2011 saw a slight increase with a meager 61%.  We are not happy with this and it seemed pertinent that a piece be compiled to give our readership a freelance look at 2015’s candidates.

The election campaign buzz has been surrounding Parliament Hill for quite some time now (albeit some candidates may have rallied slightly too early, but we tend to encourage politicians that are committed here at the Buzz.)

Here is a list of the potential MP’s we are expecting to see in the coming months: Stephen Harper (Returning Grande Poo-Bah), Thomas Mulcair (WTF NDP is still rated highly in the polls? Sweet!) Justin Trudeau (The guy who’s a year older than the Grande Poo-Bah when he was elected).  Of course there is also the Honorable Elizabeth May who will receive mention in this article however the buzz may save another article for the Green Party leader.

He just looks creepy in our opinion
Now we don’t want to bore you with too lengthy of an article, so it’s possible that election tracking could just become a regular addition to the PS Buzz.  If that is the case, then expect to see more tid bits on your political representatives!

Starting in the Blue corner, weighing in at 192lbs in a towering frame of 6’ 2”, we have the Grande Poo-Bah returning champ Mr. Stephen Harper! (Qu: Air Horns and turn light on saying crowd cheers.)  Satire aside, the Hon. Stephen Harper is back in the running as our Prime Minister Elect.  He has headed fan favourite Bills such as Bill-C51, boosted the budget by cutting environmental funding, and freed the press by telling scientists not to publish their work.  Honest, we did try to find a way to paint him in a good light. He’s good with money? We’ll just leave it there and dive in later if need be.

The Beard!
In the Orange corner, standing at an unannounced height and weight, the official opposition of attrition, Mr. Thomas Mulcair!  Willing to call out anyone he wants, capable of standing up for Canadian citizenship, and quite dashing with that beard we have to say.  Mr. Mulcair has so far opposed Bill C-51, pushed a Bill addressing the stupid tradition of taxing feminine hygiene products (seriously, how/why is that still a thing?) And let’s not forget he’s pledged to open a national public inquiry into missing aboriginal women within 100 days of being in office.  Wow, no wonder he doesn’t have time to answer polls about his weight!  Oh, and he also believes marijuana laws are extremely unfair, but that’s enough for now.

We couldn't find a picture that didn't make him look dreamy...
And weighing in at 180lbs and also standing at 6’ 2”, we have Mr. Justin Trudeau, the Red sharp shooter himself.  We don’t really have a catchy title, mainly because there isn’t a heck of a lot to paint this guy with.  Mr. Trudeau earned his sharp shooter mantle as he has a knack for saying the right things in the right mediums.  Speak out about marijuana legalization and education funding on social media, he’s there!  Vote on Bill C-51 without bringing much attention to it, he’s there!  While Mr. T (hey, that’s actually a pretty good title) is being sold to us as “too young” and “inexperienced” we would like to remind our readership that he is 44 freaking years old.  We think campaign managers are too old and only know how to create smear campaigns.

She looks so sweet!
Finally our honorable Green candidate, the most entertaining candidate in the House of Commons since Danny Williams, Ms. Elizabeth May!  Ms. May is known for speaking out on just about any issue she feels passionate about, sometimes even if they have no place in the Canadian political spectrum.  But hey, we here at the Buzz kind of have a soft spot for the current (we’ll see if she holds her ground in the coming months) Green Party leader.  She’s pro-life and proud (we admire pride, not necessarily her stance) and is willing to oppose Bill C-51.  Above all, she’s the only one that gives a hoot about the environment, at least enough to focus on that instead of BS politics.

Perhaps you noticed a theme, the PS Buzz HATES Bill C-51.  Yes, hate is a strong word.  However, it fits this case perfectly. We made it a point to notify our readers of one of the most ridiculous things our government has passed since- well we’re still trying to research what was a bigger screw up, so perhaps that will be a separate article.

We hope you feel slightly more informed, or at the very least interested enough to wonder what ya-hoos are currently fighting for the title of Supreme Ruler of Can- sorry- the position of Right Honorable Prime Minister of Canada.  The fact is that we as voters need to focus on all levels of the arena.  That means finding out what your local ridings are supporting and educate others if you support it, or speak up if you see something happening that just doesn’t seem Canadian (nationalism makes us nauseous, but it fits in this article.)